a new year...a new beginning

As I face the outlook of a new year, I have some thoughts...random and probably won't be put in a good format but hope you can follow them. I have realized that Joe and I are on our own. We no longer have our children near us. Though it hurts me deeply, I know that it is a new beginning for us. But, as a mother who put much into raising her children (not always doing my best but as best as I could), it is a hard realization for me. Maybe it is the newness of it that makes it so hard for me. I am not sure just why it is hard but trust me it has not been an easy transition for me.

I face this time with fear and trepidation as to what the future holds. I also look at it as a time for Joe and I to get to know each other again and the opportunity to do things that we did not get to do before.

As I look at each of my children, I realize that they have a lot to learn and experience and that I can no longer be the safety net for them. Justin has Lisa and Jaci has Jarred. Geni is her own independent person and it thrills me to see each of them in their own environment. But at the same time it is hard for me to let them go. But I know that I must.

The Lord has blessed me with three lovely and responsible children who have given Joe and I much joy and happiness in our lives. I pray that each one of them will find the abilities it takes to make the best of their lives to continue to strive when it feels like there is nothing left to strive for and to bless every soul that they touch as they have blessed our lives in being our children.

As they grow and no longer live near each other, may they find a way to continue to keep the bond between them strong as my sister and I have. Sometimes it appears to us that we are no longer close but, you need only look at pictures taken and watch the interaction between each other to know that it is there. Life just sometimes seems to get in the way at the wrong time. Once again, it all comes to forming us and making us who we are.

My wish for this new year is for each of us to feel the love and joy of family and to strive throughout the year to continue to keep that bond close throughout every situation that arises and believe me, they will arise.

I hope that my children know that I love beyond a shadow of a doubt. I always will no matter the distance.