Happy Birthday Geni and Jocelyn

Today, my baby turns 21 years old. Joe and I were not sure if we wanted a third baby and let God make that decision for us. We are not sorry that he blessed us with Geni. We will forever be thankful for her...independence, her giving and tender heart and for the love we see each time we are able to look into her eyes. We love you Geni may you have many more birthdays.

I was blessed to be able to see James and Julie come into this world. Jocelyn timed her coming after we left Colorado last year but the time we have gotten to spend with her have been so wonderful. A sweeter baby there is none....I wish I that I could look into her beautiful baby eyes and tell her personally that we love her and can't wait to see many more of her birthdays but I can't....so, know Jocelyn that we are there in spirit and you have a place of high esteem in our hearts. We love you.

Happy birthday girls. we love you.

Nana and Papou

Happy Birthday Jaci!!

Just wanted to wish Jaci a very happy birthday. I remember when she was born how happy Joe and I were and how she has blessed our lives and many lives around her. May you have many more blessed and happy years Jaci!!! I love you.

Back in the Saddle Again!

I finally talked Joe into getting me another swiing. I have so missed being able to sit outside on it and relax. I got it last weekend. Used it alot and during the week just was not able to get out to it. But it gave me something fun to look forward to during the week. Tonight we sat outside and ate dinner and just relaxed. The way Helen's house is set up, the backyard has woods behind it and there are no houses sitting site on either side of the back. All you hear are the crickets. Wonderful.

Today besides relaxing on the swing, we worked more on the bathroom. It is really coming along. Tonight we picked up the shower stall. Can't wait to see the finished product.

Talk later.

Oh so Colorado

Got home from Colorado yesterday. I could have stayed forever. I love the time I get to spend with those I love. I wish I could bottle it up and save it for the lower times. But, at least I do have the memories. That helps some.
Thank you Jarred and Jaci for putting up with us. Doing what we wanted and letting us totally mess up the kids schedules so that we could get all the time with them that it would allow. We had a wonderful time and have many wonderful memories.

We also got to see Geni and her new place. She has a nice apartment and having lots of fun setting it up. She got written up because they told her at the last minute that she was to work Saturday. She told them no, she would not work and they wrote her up for it. Boy, one day....but thanks Geni for the time. It was great!!!

Short blog but I have to get ready for work. I got home last night and I think by 6pm I was already sound asleep. So, have a suitcase to unpack and see what I can find to wear to work....

Again thanks for the memories. The kids are beautiful and get more adorable each time I see them.

Why....

Last month we went to a family reunion up in Pittsburgh. Since then, it has made me do a lot of thinking on why people do destructive things to themselves and those that they care about. So, bear with me while I rant...

If you want to make changes in your life, why do you fall back on the things that you were doing before you decieded you wanted to make changes in your life? Why fall back to the things that easiest or make life easiest for you? Isn't life all about a challenge? If it is, what does that say about the choices that you are making now in your life? I am not talking about past choices but the now choices....make those decisions and live your life as if each day is a new blessing and make the most of it. But, if you can't don't lie and ask others to lie for you. It hurts too much to think about that. I just want to see your life moving in a positive direction not falling backward again. Because I love you.

The Secret

This was on the cover of our bulletin. I am not sure who to give the credit to but thought it was great.....

"One day, one friend asked another,

"How is it that you are always so happy?

You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down."

With her eyes smiling, she said,

"I know the Secret!"

"What secret is that?"

To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it,

but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."

"The Secret is this:

I have learned there is little I can do

in my life that will make me truly happy.

I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs.

When a need arises in my life,

I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches.

I don't need half of what I think I do.

He has never let me down.

Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."

The questioner's first thought was,

"That's too simple!"

But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger

house would make her happy, but it didn't!

She thought a better paying job

would make her happy, but it hadn't.

When did she realize her greatest happiness?

Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating

pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too!

We can't depend on people to make us happy.

Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.

Trust HIM!

And now I pass the Secret on to you!

So once you get it, what will you do?

YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!

That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU!

But it's not really a secret...

we just have to believe it and do it...

Really trust God!

Here's to you Geni...

Last week, we had the honor of having Geni for a week. It was a wonderful week and I had forgotten just how much fun she is to be around. She kept us all laughing and had a great attitude. She is now in Colorado with Jaci and Jarred where she will begin a new life with them. She gave up everything and is starting from scratch again. She moved from a place she loved and still does so she could be closer to family. This just touches my heart as she does.

As my children grew up, I always hoped that the girls would share the relationship that my sister and I share. It appears that Jaci and Geni are headed in the same direction. They both talk about their "best friend" and that just tickles me to death. They are together now and when I go to visit them I get the extra treat of Geni as well as the rest of them all.

Speaking of visiting, I will be there this coming Friday I can hardly wait. Thanks Geni for visiting with us you will never know just how much this old heart needed that.

I love you!

Revamped In Memory of...

I wrote earlier that my uncle passed away. He did not. Joe did not understand my uncle Jim when he called. Uncle Jim was calling to let us know that his oldest daughter 47 years old had passed away of a heart attack. My uncle was devastated. She was a single mom of two and had no insurance. She had ignored symptoms that could have potentially saved her life had she realized what was going on. So sad for all involved. It's worse to me that Uncle Jim lost a daughter you just don't expect to bury your children. He has suffered such loss over the past couple years, his brother, his brother in law, his nephew, his sister in law, his sister and now his daughter. I pray that he is done with loss for awhile and can enjoy his family and have some happiness for awhile. We are going to try to get up there for the funeral to give him support. He did so much for us it is the least we can do. During my dads and my brothers funeral he was right there for us at all hours of the day and night. I want to give him a little of that back. I pray I can. Keep him in your prayers please.

What a surprise....

I am so blessed. The girls have been worried about me since my post and surprised me with flowers yesterday delivered to the office. The picture isn't the greatest picture but, what a surprise it was for me. It was delivered by this very friendly guy who made me laugh as well.

The girls wrote part of a book that is special to us in the note. The book is called "I'll Love You Forever". As soon as I began to read the note I started crying. Then Helen started crying and our co-worker said boy you both are sisters. It was just sweetest note.

Thanks girls for brightening my day. You both are just to sweet. I love you both very much.

down in the dumps...

The last couple of days I have gotten out of bed with a chip on my shoulder. I am so frustrated with myself. But as always it has made me do some heavy soul searching. I realized that I miss my kids....not just the grandkids but my kids...Justin, Jaci and Geni...even those extended kids, Jarred and Lisa. On the way home tonight Helen and I were talking and I told her that I realized that you just don't realize what you have until you don't have it anymore. I can vividly remember ladies at church getting upset with me when I said I could not wait for the kids to grow up...they would tell me not to say that and I would be sorry one day. Of course in my grown up knowledge that I had way back then would inform them that I would not be....guess what....my grown up knowledge stunk and here I sit.

We walked through the mall tonight. Since the kids were little when we lived here I saw so many memories. Then to add insult to injury, we walked past the play area where Joe and I took the kids, and right next to it, there pretzel place that Jaci hit everytime we came back around the mall to pick up the kids....memories. They are special but no one ever told me that they could be painful as well. Good memories so how come they hurt so much?

Geni is moving to Colorado in a month or so...big baby mommy asks her if she will come and visit her before heading to Colorado....hmmm... whose the grown up here? I love the pictures that Geni and Jaci have on their my spaces of them...I see the backgrounds and remember times....then all the pictures that we have on the computers my oh my...I sit sometimes for hours just watching them all cycle....so many memories. My how I miss my kids.

So, missing the kids isn't enough...I had this chance for a new job. One I thought I was going to get...one I was excited for...I still don't know if it will pan out...I keep holding hope against hope that it will but each new day and no word brings me down. Why should I be upset about not getting it? This way I can still get time off as wanted if I stay where I am within reason of course but I get to work with my sister and we carpool. I don't have to work from noon to 9 pm or later....but here I sit with a chip on my shoulder all because my ego just can't take not one more ounce of rejection. I keep reminding God that I did not ask Him to give me patience...I thought I had learned that lesson maybe one of the 30 or more times in the past. Evidently not....

I realized that no matter how many times I promise Joe that I will be happy if....that I won't. Sad truth to have to face. Now of course I have a new if only....gee won't Joe be excited...

I said all that to say don't worry about me I will push through this. Thanks to Jaci and Geni for the phone calls I guess they picked up my little woes over the phone...thanks to Helen and Joe for continuing to put up with my "ways" and for overlooking them as much as is humanly possible and for being supportive and always there....

I love you all!

Phew it is exhausting spending other peoples money!!!

Joe did a demo today and it was further down the road than normal. the norm is that Joe goes and helps me set up and vice versa...so this morning, Helen, Joe and I took off to get him set up and then Helen and I did running. We have been trying to get started on redoing the master bath...been a long road to travel trying to get ideas but keep the costs down so once we got prices it slowed us way down. Anyway today we priced pedestal sinks and cabinets and sinks found some things we liked etc...we were out all day long and then picked up Joe and went to the Home Depot closest to his demo to show him what we found...they didn't have it, we went to four different home depo's tonight trying to find this vanity and sink that we liked. We did find it and after all was said and done found a pedestal sink that we like better, there was a toilet that matched it reasonably priced even....so, we have tentatively picked out a sink and toilet, know the flooring that is going down and picked out a faucet and a toilet seat that looks good together. Now to nail down the shower. Of course there is always the chance we will find something better and better priced but it was a fun day. Since there was no money spent except for the dinner we ate at a bagel place it was great fun. The best part of course is that when all is said and done and the final decision is made and the stuff is bought it still did not come out of my pocket LOL....sorry Helen! But thanks for being such a good sport and letting me drag you all over the place for window shopping. I love you.

Sunday morning....

Here I sit at 6:48 am Sunday Morning. I got up early because I had some emails I had neglected to answer from people in Hawaii. I figured my getting up early would still be way to early in the morning for them and they would find them when they checked their email for the day....sneaky that way.

I am sitting at the computer and listening to the birds outside my window. they sound so pretty and so peaceful. Right now, I feel pretty peaceful. So, my prayer for the day is that no matter what happens today that I will have a spirit of peacefulness about me.

I am reading a book that talks about the verse "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." I never really thought about the fact that no matter what hits me, what I am worried about etc. that I should be rejoicing and glad in it. Thought it was pretty cool and wanted to share it....

I hope that everyone's day is blessed and the company you keep today is uplifting and shows you the love that you all deserve. and remember, be glad in it!

Thank you....thank you....thank you....

It's early morning and quiet in the Hutton household. As Joe and I prepare to head back to Jacksonville we are thankful for Jaci and Jarred's hospitality. We have so enjoyed our time here. No sight seeing, no time frames to go on just family time. I love family time. Even if I am a wimp and have to go to bed early...sorry guys.

Jaci has been cooking wonderful meals for us and keeping the entire house picked up the entire time we were here. That can be a big feat when adding two extra bodies into the mix. She seems so comfortable and at home that I can't help but be thrilled for her. I know that she will have days that won't feel so good but for the most part, motherhood is really sitting well on her. She again has made us proud. It's always hard for parents to let their children go but we feel confident that she has made a great choice in her life in Jarred and is settled and happy. That is a relief for us.

Jarred is such a good daddy. As always I am so impressed. It takes a look and sometimes a whisper in the ear and the kids just listen. I never had that ability and I am awed by it. You can see the love for dad from the kids and to the kids from dad. It is such a touching sight to see.

What can I say about the kids? They are wonderful. So polite and loving. Always willing to give kisses and hugs and sit with you. James is such a big boy now. I still see him as a baby but he is not that at all. Julie is well Julie. She is almost two but acts older. She is very independent and I imagine that she is going to be the trying one. But how can you discipline her when she gives that smile or grin she has????? Jocelyn is beautiful. When I hold her it brings back so many memories of holding Jaci and Geni because she looks just like they did. She is a good baby and Jaci and Jarred are so blessed.

Speaking of being blessed, so are we. Thanks Jaci and Jarred for being an integral part of our family. We love you both.....yes, Jarred both!!!!

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

January 21

January 21st is a big day...one reason is it is my brothers birthday. I was good thanks to Helen's prompting, I got his card out in a timely manner. The post office and I just don't do well together.

James turns 3 years old tomorrow. I can hardly believe that it has been three years since he blessed so many lives. Time truly does not wait for anyone. He continues to grow and I continue to age but I am so blessed that I have been able to be in his life and that he knows who I am. To another many more years of blessings James....Nana loves you.

The other big thing is that Joe and I fly out to see the Colorado H's. I can hardly wait. I finally get to meet Jocelyn and let her know how much I love her. I get to see how much a months time has matured and grown James and Julie and give them lots of loving. Two of the shining lights in my life. I am so blessed....

a new year...a new beginning

As I face the outlook of a new year, I have some thoughts...random and probably won't be put in a good format but hope you can follow them. I have realized that Joe and I are on our own. We no longer have our children near us. Though it hurts me deeply, I know that it is a new beginning for us. But, as a mother who put much into raising her children (not always doing my best but as best as I could), it is a hard realization for me. Maybe it is the newness of it that makes it so hard for me. I am not sure just why it is hard but trust me it has not been an easy transition for me.

I face this time with fear and trepidation as to what the future holds. I also look at it as a time for Joe and I to get to know each other again and the opportunity to do things that we did not get to do before.

As I look at each of my children, I realize that they have a lot to learn and experience and that I can no longer be the safety net for them. Justin has Lisa and Jaci has Jarred. Geni is her own independent person and it thrills me to see each of them in their own environment. But at the same time it is hard for me to let them go. But I know that I must.

The Lord has blessed me with three lovely and responsible children who have given Joe and I much joy and happiness in our lives. I pray that each one of them will find the abilities it takes to make the best of their lives to continue to strive when it feels like there is nothing left to strive for and to bless every soul that they touch as they have blessed our lives in being our children.

As they grow and no longer live near each other, may they find a way to continue to keep the bond between them strong as my sister and I have. Sometimes it appears to us that we are no longer close but, you need only look at pictures taken and watch the interaction between each other to know that it is there. Life just sometimes seems to get in the way at the wrong time. Once again, it all comes to forming us and making us who we are.

My wish for this new year is for each of us to feel the love and joy of family and to strive throughout the year to continue to keep that bond close throughout every situation that arises and believe me, they will arise.

I hope that my children know that I love beyond a shadow of a doubt. I always will no matter the distance.

snowed under but it was great!

Well, I arrived back home tonight from spending almost two marvelous weeks with Jarred, Jaci and of course the grandkids ;)))))) It was wonderful to get there and see them all in action. I so enjoyed the time I got to spend with everyone and thank Jarred and Jaci for their hospitatlity. Much to ask when our entire family showed up on their doorstep with Jaci very pregnant and ready to be done. It was a wonderful christmas...I am so blessed to have a wonderful family to share with.

On a sad note, I came home not getting to meet Jocelyn yet but I know the time will come. Have to see what can be done.....

Again Jaci and Jarred, love you greatly and appreciate your opening your house to us all. Thanks for the memories.

Over the river and through the woods to Lillian's house we went...

We spent a wonderful long weekend at Lil and Adam's house. It is always so neat to me to see the "kids" that I knew so long ago now married and in their own house. Christy and her husband Alex were there also. We had such a great time. Missouri is beautiful especially the area of Wappapella where they live. Lil and Christy have grown so much and even though I am just their aunt, I was very proud of them. They both have made wonderful choices in their mates and you can see that they both are very happy. Watching Helen with them was really neat to me as well. She is very content with being with her girls. She was so happy. I loved it. Thanks Lil for the hospitality and listening to me moan about being cold. I love you.

A job update: nothing yet. I am still putting in applications. Time will tell. I am thinking about trying to put in temp applications until after Jaci has the baby that way I will be able to take off without worrying about it. But, the money has to cover my bills and that is the big thing at this time.

Well, time to eat dinner. Will update more soon.

Work ethics

I lost my job on Friday. Probably the very first job I have ever been let go of. I had just set up my work area to flow for me. I spent the day working hard. I cleaned my area and in a trucking company it will never stay clean. I cleaned out file drawers, lots of them. I worked hard while my co workers sat in their chairs and read magazines, chatted on the phone and just put in their time. I have always been a hard worker and find those that don't work hard or hardly work sad to me. The sad part is that they always seem to be younger than me. I am scared that this world that we are in right now has adults with little or no work ethics. Why not go into work and work hard. Did I want to be there? Or course not but, I was there and I might as well do things that will benefit me as well as others. I was sad to lose my job because I knew that once I was not there and I mean to give myself no kudos, but the work would not get done. why can I say that? Because before I arrived it did not get done on time. Why would I think that it would change?

I write this because although I am good with not having that particular job, it bothers me that I was the one willing to work but because I was the newest in the office I was the one that had to go. How sad it is that people can collect a paycheck doing the smallest amount of work they have to get by and others who are happy just have a job and are willing to work for it get put out.

I know that I will find a new and better job. That God has bigger and better plans for me but, right now sitting and filling out application after application gets tedious and depressing. Yesterday I had to go out to find an outfit to wear for interviews. I have not had to ever truly impress everyone and it scares me to fill out forms to jobs that I am not even sure that I can do everything they require. I don't want to say I can do something that I can't. Honesty....sometimes I wonder does it truly pay? Some days I am not so sure. Joe and Helen keep telling me that I am selling myself short but, I don't find that I do anything "well" just sub standard. I keep on pushing though. Maybe that counts for something.