Hmmm...

Not being one for posting heavy thoughts, I find something I like and I post it. So, here is a story that I put in the bulletin this Sunday that I thought was something I needed to think about.

The House of 1000 Mirrors (Japanese folktale)

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the dorrway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled his greatest smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "this is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit often." In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "that is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of people you meet?

As told by Chris P Cash

23 years

Today celebrates 23 years of Joe and I being married. I won't say that it has been happy happy happy, but, he has taken care of me and the kids and we have grown accustomed to each other. I don't think I can imagine my life without him in it and honestly I don't want to. I am not an easy person to live with and he has tolerated me this long. So, here's to another 23 years together....forget what statistics say.....I love you Joe.

Phewww it's over

We had a wonderful turnout for Joe's retirement party. It was great to see so many people take time out of their busy holiday schedule's to share with us. Food was great, but the fellowship was better. Now that it is over, I can sit back and rest. I slept like a baby Saturday night. I didn't have to worry about getting anything baked, did I get enough food...and on and on. Was wonderful. So far it has been a few days since I have even cleaned house. I am past the trips, past the ceremony, past the move and past the party...now I can relax. Thank heavens for small things. Now on to enjoying life.

We had quite a discussion on Sunday evening at church about what Christmas is all about. While I celebrate the usual Christmas hoopla, I find each year that it is different for me than it used to be. I have come to the conclusion that as parents when our children are small that we love the holidays. At least Joe and I did. Now, it is different. I love Christmas but for reasons other than the excitement in their eyes and all that. I love Christmas for the feeling of family. I did not share any stories the other night but the one that comes to mind for me is when my father took my brothers and went to Tionesta while we were at midnight mass Christmas eve. That was the worst Christmas ever. Every year I think on that and every year I vow to make sure that we make Christmas about enjoying our families and those we have around us. Justin won't be home this year for Christmas. I am saddened that he can't come home but, I know he will be spending the holiday with his Uncle and Lisa. He will be loved and taken care of. Go home with a full belly and still feel a sense of "family." I will miss him but he lives in my heart and I know he knows that.

In all that rambling, I don't think that I wrote what is on my heart but, only a small inkling. I pray that my life is a reflection of the love of God in all I do and say. After all, if He can love me and all my short comings, then the least I can do is try my best to be positive in all I do and say.

Retirement?

Alas, I come hanging my head as I realize that this retirement is not all its cracked up to be. I seem to be the only one having a hard time adjusting. I can't get it through my head that it is no longer just the way I like things to be done. Why does that seem to be so hard to get through this thick skull? I have found that I no longer feel a place that is completely mine and have no control. Instead of dealing with it though I have become mean. I don't want to be but nonetheless, there it is I am mean. So, logically, that means that I have to change it...I am trying but can't seem to get out of the funk. Maybe because my cold is weighing me down that I am so low? Not sure. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that Joe is home. Thus far my car has been in the shop twice since he got home and I abhor taking it myself. This way he can do that stuff. The manly things. Keep praying for me that I will get over my bullheadedness and adjust. I will never understand why it takes me so long to adjust to change. I always thought I liked change. Change is good for a person...or so I say...pray for me.

Home at last

God has truly blessed us! Joe is back home with us safe and sound. I am so thankful for us to be two again. Thank you Lord! Our trip to Germany was wonderful. Was so nice for all of us to be together as one big family. I am so thankful that each person took the time to share with us this visit and feel that all went well and everyone went home happy! Still trying to fight off all the time changes but I don't have to do the route until Thursday so that makes me happy. First night home both Joe and I were up at 1 am. Not fun! We both took a couple cat naps during the day but slept through the night. (I know for me the cold medicine that I took helped LOL). Anyway, I will write more soon and hopefully get a picture or two on here soon. If Jaci will help me????? Shopping this afternoon for Christmas with Jaci.

Tomorrow's a new day

Well, much has passed since my last post and though I wish I could send insight and all, I just have to keep rolling and ducking. Tomorrow begins our first day in the new house. I pray that the move will go smoothly and I won't feel exhausted and wasted at the end of the day. But, reality sets in and I know I will. But, the good news is that I have a bath tub and can soak in the tub. Beau came back to us last night. He was not taken care of and I am so angry at the people but I think I am more angry at myself. Why I never listen to my inner feelings is beyond me. I was very specific as to what type of food that Beau could eat and not have an allergic reaction and they did not listen. They bought him Pedigree which he is highly allergic to. He has sores all over him and scratched half the night new ones. I bought him the food he can eat with no allergy problems but I am afraid that he is too far gone and I will have to take him to the vet to get some steriods this time. I can tell he was not taken care of he went outside to take care of business this morning and was afraid of the kids. He has never been afraid. I don't know what to think. Sad that people don't take care of what they are blessed with. Phil and Sandy have offered to keep Beau until I find a home for him. I am so thankful since tomorrow will be no pets everafter. I will get to see him almost daily too that is a blessing. At least till we find him a home. Last night was his revenge. He slept in my room....he never does....he passed lots and lots of gas. I finally had to get up and go clean out the freezer. One of the jobs I needed to get done before tomorrow but ignored last night when I got home. It's done now compliments of Beau.
Gee, am I rambling or what....the lady that was and then wasn't going to do Geni's route is. LOL. First night she got lost and was afraid to call. Geni saved her after her new job. I was furious. Not having a good day to begin with. Anyway since then, she has done great and last night was finished way early. I am thankful that is one area that I don't have to worry right now.

Well, guess I should get off here and take care of business. Keep me in your prayers please. I need them!

Be anxious for nothing...

"Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6

The lady that was to take Geni's route for the month is not going to take her route. So, we are back to square one only with very little time since Geni starts her new job on Monday. I only need someone for a month so it is discouraging.

Other things are coming along well. the move plans are moving right along. I finally called cable and electric yesterday and got that all set up as well. We will be without cable for about 4 days but I figure I will be too tired to really care. I changed my address with work so everything will be coming to the church. I figured it was easier that way since we finish up the box here anyway. The truck is rented and I seem to have a good amount of help. I will be moving stuff on Friday and Saturday. Sunday will be the day to get the house set up. So, other than route worries God is supplying my needs. Now onto the route....

Sad

Well, last night we placed our second dog into a new home. It was heartbreaking and this staying strong stuff for the sake of the kids is for the birds. I am exhausted today. I feel like I ripped my heart out and handed it to this couple. I can only pray that Beau has a great home and a wonderful life. As for me, he will always be there in my heart. It was as if he knew last night. When I got home from dinner at Jaci and Jarred's he kept demanding my attention. He usually is content with Geni and Brice. I had an appointment with this guy for tonight but they called last night at 9:30 to see if they could see him last night. They wanted him. They have this tiny car so we ended up driving Beau out there for them and that was hard. My mind kept screaming at me to turn the car around but I knew that Beau needed a new home and we were no longer able to provide for him. Changes stink!

Mahalo Nui Loa

I just want to say thanks to everyone who interceeded for me. Those prayers helped me tremendously yesterday. I am happy to say that the perfect house came through. We got the call yesterday. So, I can pack my stuff and know that I have somewhere it will be going. Ahhh life is good. Thank you Father!!!

Just needed to publically thank God and you all for sticking with me and reading these things and then taking my needs to the Lord. I appreciate every one of you!

Frustrated

Turns out that the rental company can not lease the place out without the owners consent. So, back to square one. Joe called them today and she said it isn't that they don't want to lease to us their hands are tied until the owner calls them or emails them. So, we are looking again. Have made appointments for some places tomorrow and also Saturday. The yard sale will be put off until I know how much furniture I will have room for. So, that gives us the day to look at places. All the ones that were hopefuls for me before the place we tried to rent are gone so we really are starting over again. High rises...yuck but if they are as roomy as the one we almost took then I will be happy. Just don't want to be in a box and no where to move. Just can't do it. Spoke with one potential high rise landlord today and he was really pushing his unit. Will see how much room it has tomorrow. Only one parking though that isn't a good way to start.

Geni got a job interview for tomorrow. I am excited for her as it is in my old field. Dental Assisting. She was told that they will pay for her to become certified. That is wonderful and it is working in a pedodontic practice. She said she is interviewing for the assisting as well as the office receptionist. She could excel in either area as her customer service skills are excellent. I am really excited for her this would give her the medical benefits she will need once Joe retires. Yippee for her. Say a prayer.

Well, guess I will end for now. Here is another story that I found and liked and thought I would share...wonder how many balls of clay I have thrown away in my lifetime?!?!?!?

Clay Balls

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake.
They didn’t look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.
He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!
Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 to 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!
It’s like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn’t look like much on the outside. It isn’t always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.
There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them. –author unknown, internet

I know two in one day....

Called the real estate company. Still have not gotten word from the owners. I told them I was worried I had already given my notice to the housing here. I was told to continue looking and if I found something to take it. What kind of business sense is that??? I did what every grown adult would do, I sicked Joe on them. I am sending him their number to call in the am. I am frustrated. Disappointed and starting the search all over again. Boy oh boy.....off to bed with me.

Been awhile...

Much to write and update about not sure I will cover it all but here goes nothing...

Found a place. Submitted the apps. Approved. Called recalled...called again. Find out that the owners have not approved waiting until my move in date yet....still waiting.

Gave my 28 days notice to move out of military housing....found out the owners have not approved my move in date yet...final inspection of housing is November 15th....

Packed up the dining room last night....Champ found a new home and went to his new home last night....I went to bed. Geni cried....

Yard sale this saturday. Still have half the house to go through and find out what else I want to get rid of....will get there.

God keeps telling me I am not leaning on Him enough...to trust Him to work out the details. I am working on it. I have to say I am not as stressed as I might have been about not knowing if we are moving into this house or not as I would have been. I guess I am just working a little slower in the learning department. God sure does like to keep reminding us who is in charge.

Well, that's it in a nutshell. LOL. Have a great day everyone!

I read this on a church of Christ web site and wanted to share it with you all...if only we could have the innocence of Kevin....

God Lives Under The Bed

I envy Kevin. My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that’s what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped outside his closed door to listen. “Are you there, God?” he said. “Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed.” I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room.
Kevin’s unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he’s 6-foot-2); there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them. I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni and cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05 eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day’s laundry chores. And Saturdays-oh the bliss of Saturdays! That’s the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculates loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. “That’ one’s going to Chi-car-go!: Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights. And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn’t know what it means to be discontent. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth or power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God – to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an “educated” person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion. In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the only one with the handicap, I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances – they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God’s care. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God. And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I’ll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed. Kevin won’t be surprised at all! -via internet

Feeling better tonight

Well, Jaci and I went and looked at a townhouse for rent today. It was spotless and just gorgeous. If I didn't have the dogs to worry about, I would have jumped on it. I am not crazy about that drive. I moved out of Mililani 3 years ago for that reason. Didnt' take it yet will wait and see. Going to see a townhouse that allows dogs on Saturday. Keep me in your prayers please.

If God has a purpose....

You know that I can't help wondering what the good Lord is trying to tell me. So many things, so much happening at one time I just don't know what way to turn. Everytime I think I know what direction I should be going another thing hits me. What is the deal?!?!?!? I know God is working in my life but does it have to be every little thing at one time?

Keep me in prayer.

Updates

Okay, everyone Jackie said I needed to update so, here it is....
I don't know anything yet. We have not gotten word from the Navy giving us approval so, at this point we can make plans but nothing firm. I am stressed, stressed, and more stressed and the girls just look at me and laugh. We began to collect junk for the yard sale we are having October 14th yes, in two weeks. I have to have it ready to go and surely do pray that one man's junk is another man's treasure is true. Cause I sure have a lot of junk. The girls and I spent Sunday afternoon putting junk into the spare room so that it would all be in one place. Early that evening I had a friends son call me and ask me if he could stay with us for a month until the room he is waiting to rent comes available. It took everything in me not to bust out loud laughing because that meant we needed to dejunk the spare room. So, we moved everything again. Some days I feel like I spend it running in circles and nothing gets accomplished. Thank goodness that the girls have been so supportive of me. Rent: well, rumor has it that the house I am now living in will be demolished by November 30th. I just checked the web site and they have January. If it is in fact January I may not have to move until we get back with Joe and we can make the move together... I vote for that! I need to get in touch with the housing office and see if they can work with me here. Thus far we have not been able to find a place where we can take our dogs with us. Not for lack of trying I must say. My car has decieded to act up as well. I had a guy from church come out and look at it (he runs a mobile auto repair shop) looking at about 585.00 almost as much as I had saved up for my ticket what do you think that says?!?!??! Haven't had it done yet Joe is going to try and locate a part on ebay. Hmmmm......

But, I continue to be hopeful and continue to pray and ask God to step in here and make things happen. This up in the air stuff is for the birds. Okay guess that is all for now. I am sure there is plenty more that I can complain about but it won't do me any good. So, I will leave you all with this cute little saying that I keep on the bulletin board in my office: "I just want you to know that I have entered the "snapdragon" part of my life. Part of me has snapped and the rest of me is dragging.

Well, yesterday I got word that I really do have a husband and he is coming home sooner than I thought. I am awed and overwhelmed and in a spin trying to work through it all. How can you be so excited yet so worried over all the little things. I keep telling him that things will work out and that we need to trust God and here I am spinning like a top and loosing sleep trying to figure out how to work things. Hmmm how two faced can I be???

Worried about for instance: where are we going to live? I spent hours last night looking up places to rent here. Rent is out of this world. I don't want to live in some tiny apartment somewhere. Easy to keep clean but I'm claustrophobic. What will I do with the dogs? I found one place last night that said it was negotiable...Surprise it was out of my price range.....What is my price range????? Will we move before or after we come back from Germany??? Will the military housing I am in right now still be there when I get back? We are due to move into the new housing within the next two months...will they allow us to stay in the old house until we get back? Old houses due for demolition in December.

Arghhh....keep telling myself "all things work together....." Pray for us. We need it!

My First Blog

Not that I am bored or anything, but, sitting here with my sister and we are having fun experimenting. My vacation has been great fun and I am sorry to see it end but know that sooner or later she and I will be together again. I would rather sooner than later (just in case Joe is reading this!!) My sister and I just finished watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman...for me only the third or fourth time and I cry each time. I told Helen that it tells me that we need to be sure as mothers that we know how "important" our input is into our childrens lives and that we don't always know when our words have hit home or just the air. I thank God for my children and my family and pray that they all know how loved they are. Okay enough for now.