What a surprise....

I am so blessed. The girls have been worried about me since my post and surprised me with flowers yesterday delivered to the office. The picture isn't the greatest picture but, what a surprise it was for me. It was delivered by this very friendly guy who made me laugh as well.

The girls wrote part of a book that is special to us in the note. The book is called "I'll Love You Forever". As soon as I began to read the note I started crying. Then Helen started crying and our co-worker said boy you both are sisters. It was just sweetest note.

Thanks girls for brightening my day. You both are just to sweet. I love you both very much.

down in the dumps...

The last couple of days I have gotten out of bed with a chip on my shoulder. I am so frustrated with myself. But as always it has made me do some heavy soul searching. I realized that I miss my kids....not just the grandkids but my kids...Justin, Jaci and Geni...even those extended kids, Jarred and Lisa. On the way home tonight Helen and I were talking and I told her that I realized that you just don't realize what you have until you don't have it anymore. I can vividly remember ladies at church getting upset with me when I said I could not wait for the kids to grow up...they would tell me not to say that and I would be sorry one day. Of course in my grown up knowledge that I had way back then would inform them that I would not be....guess what....my grown up knowledge stunk and here I sit.

We walked through the mall tonight. Since the kids were little when we lived here I saw so many memories. Then to add insult to injury, we walked past the play area where Joe and I took the kids, and right next to it, there pretzel place that Jaci hit everytime we came back around the mall to pick up the kids....memories. They are special but no one ever told me that they could be painful as well. Good memories so how come they hurt so much?

Geni is moving to Colorado in a month or so...big baby mommy asks her if she will come and visit her before heading to Colorado....hmmm... whose the grown up here? I love the pictures that Geni and Jaci have on their my spaces of them...I see the backgrounds and remember times....then all the pictures that we have on the computers my oh my...I sit sometimes for hours just watching them all cycle....so many memories. My how I miss my kids.

So, missing the kids isn't enough...I had this chance for a new job. One I thought I was going to get...one I was excited for...I still don't know if it will pan out...I keep holding hope against hope that it will but each new day and no word brings me down. Why should I be upset about not getting it? This way I can still get time off as wanted if I stay where I am within reason of course but I get to work with my sister and we carpool. I don't have to work from noon to 9 pm or later....but here I sit with a chip on my shoulder all because my ego just can't take not one more ounce of rejection. I keep reminding God that I did not ask Him to give me patience...I thought I had learned that lesson maybe one of the 30 or more times in the past. Evidently not....

I realized that no matter how many times I promise Joe that I will be happy if....that I won't. Sad truth to have to face. Now of course I have a new if only....gee won't Joe be excited...

I said all that to say don't worry about me I will push through this. Thanks to Jaci and Geni for the phone calls I guess they picked up my little woes over the phone...thanks to Helen and Joe for continuing to put up with my "ways" and for overlooking them as much as is humanly possible and for being supportive and always there....

I love you all!

Phew it is exhausting spending other peoples money!!!

Joe did a demo today and it was further down the road than normal. the norm is that Joe goes and helps me set up and vice versa...so this morning, Helen, Joe and I took off to get him set up and then Helen and I did running. We have been trying to get started on redoing the master bath...been a long road to travel trying to get ideas but keep the costs down so once we got prices it slowed us way down. Anyway today we priced pedestal sinks and cabinets and sinks found some things we liked etc...we were out all day long and then picked up Joe and went to the Home Depot closest to his demo to show him what we found...they didn't have it, we went to four different home depo's tonight trying to find this vanity and sink that we liked. We did find it and after all was said and done found a pedestal sink that we like better, there was a toilet that matched it reasonably priced even....so, we have tentatively picked out a sink and toilet, know the flooring that is going down and picked out a faucet and a toilet seat that looks good together. Now to nail down the shower. Of course there is always the chance we will find something better and better priced but it was a fun day. Since there was no money spent except for the dinner we ate at a bagel place it was great fun. The best part of course is that when all is said and done and the final decision is made and the stuff is bought it still did not come out of my pocket LOL....sorry Helen! But thanks for being such a good sport and letting me drag you all over the place for window shopping. I love you.

Sunday morning....

Here I sit at 6:48 am Sunday Morning. I got up early because I had some emails I had neglected to answer from people in Hawaii. I figured my getting up early would still be way to early in the morning for them and they would find them when they checked their email for the day....sneaky that way.

I am sitting at the computer and listening to the birds outside my window. they sound so pretty and so peaceful. Right now, I feel pretty peaceful. So, my prayer for the day is that no matter what happens today that I will have a spirit of peacefulness about me.

I am reading a book that talks about the verse "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." I never really thought about the fact that no matter what hits me, what I am worried about etc. that I should be rejoicing and glad in it. Thought it was pretty cool and wanted to share it....

I hope that everyone's day is blessed and the company you keep today is uplifting and shows you the love that you all deserve. and remember, be glad in it!